If there’s one thing that’s definitely in for celebrity couples right now, it’s imbibing each other’s bodily fluids. Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly have their whole blood thing, and now Kourtney Kardashian is telling the world about drinking — yes, “drinking” — Travis Barker’s semen.
The newlyweds, who each have three kids already from previous relationships, are apparently trying to conceive — and in typical Kardashian form, they’re documenting it all for the family’s new Hulu reality series. During a recent episode of The Kardashians, Kourtney opened up about a rather interesting fertility treatment the couple had been trying out that involved regularly consuming her husband’s splooge. According to Kourtney, this somewhat questionable advice was actually handed down by a doctor.
“He told us to, well he told me that the thing that would help was drinking [Barker’s] cum like four times a week,” she explained in the episode, leaving her husband to drop an obligatory “lol I’m a dude getting my dick sucked and life is great” joke and brag about the quality of his sperm. “I love this doctor,” he quipped, adding that he has “grade A” sperm.
Barker’s sperm quality aside, I obviously have a few questions. For one thing, while consuming a partner’s semen is certainly much more common than drinking their blood or really any other bodily fluid that I can think of, I am a little puzzled by the use of the verb “drinking” here. Typically when we talk about consuming ejaculate, we refer to that act as “swallowing.” “Drinking,” on the other hand, seems to imply a slightly different course of action, one that I can only imagine would involve Travis Barker ejaculating into a cup for his wife to sip on. “Drinking” also seems to imply a certain volume of liquid, so I have to wonder just how much grade-A semen Barker has to be pumping out for its consumption to be considered drinking rather than plain old swallowing.
Beyond the logistics and verbiage of the situation, one might also question the medical reasoning involved here. I’ll admit, I’m no fertility expert, but somehow I just can’t really imagine that swallowing (or drinking or otherwise consuming) ejaculate actually does anything as far as baby-making goes. Based on my admittedly pretty basic knowledge of human biology, that’s not how it works — though it does sound like how you might think it works if you were, like, 9 years old.
Anyway, congrats to Travis Barker on getting his dick sucked and/or maybe ejaculating into a cup, and to Kourtney Kardashian for her confusing word choice. I don’t know that this couple is any closer to reproducing, but it sounds like they’re having fun trying.
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