I Am Slightly Shook by How Cool the Current Bonobos Collection Is

To level-set, it’s not that I ever thought of Bonobos as an uncool brand — just maybe not the most hypebeast-y name in the game, you know? Got their start making solid, straightforward chinos, exploded online among average chaps looking to dress a little more stylishly, were eventually acquired by Wal-Mart … a dude could be forgiven for failing to consider them among the more fashion-forward entities in the menswear space.

A dude could also be fantastically wrong in that regard, as I discovered upon a recent perusal of the Bonobos site, when again and again I found myself thinking “Holy cannoli, there are some straight up barn burners in here.”

Thus I am here to tell my fellow snappy (see: slightly extra) dressers: when looking for something that’s gonna make an impression in the best possible way, do not — I repeat, do not — sleep on Bonobos. As you’ll see below, they’ve got more than their fair share of pieces guaranteed to elicit a “hot damn, where did you get that?!” 

Sure, you may need to wait a bit to show them off (COVID, blah), but it’ll be worth it.

Refined Stretch Chinos

These are basically the carpet from The Shining in pants form, which no one should need to tell you is undeniably badass.

Pleated Stretch Corduroy Trousers + Double-Breasted Stretch Corduroy Blazer

These are sold as separates, which means if you wanted to cop merely the pants or jacket on its own, you could definitely do that. However, this would be an act of sartorial cowardice, as when the two are combined they form the sort of high-octane GTH kit I like to believe Julian Schnabel would wear to a book signing.

Merino Jacquard Crew Neck Sweater

That being said, taking the above trousers out for a drive on their own is still a great look, and for that you’re going to want this buttery soft jacquard knit sporting the perfect amount of pink to play off the pants.

Limited-Edition “Brown Duck” Sweatshirt

Is it the interplay of this crewneck’s deep brown and the technicolor hues of the duck? Is it the fact that said duck is chenille, which gives him (or her, I cannot pretend to know the gender of a duck just by glancing) a vaguely collegiate, varsity jacket air? Is it the fact that a sweatshirt with a brightly colored duck on it is just a cool idea, period? Survey says: it’s all of these things.

Donegal Crew Neck Sweater

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: with its yarns of varying width and color resulting in a delightfully speckled effect that only gets more delightful the closer you look at it, Donegal is Lord of the Wools.

Holiday Wagon Crew Neck Sweater

Watching Christmas Vacation while wearing this sweater and drinking eggnog is pretty much peak holiday, if you ask me.

Merino Striped Cardigan

I like to call this type of classic cardigan an “overneath” piece, in that it looks great as your top layer over a tee or collared shirt, but can also elevate an ensemble under a jacket or blazer. True versatility, and the retro plum/navy/heather stripe takes it to the next level.

The WFHQ Pant

Speaking of versatility, Bonobos also just dropped this streamlined elastic-waist pant cut with the perfect amount of taper in a breathable, stretch-knit fabric. Slick enough to rock to Thanksgiving dinner, comfy enough that you can gloat over all the poor bastards unbuttoning their pants afterward.

Holiday Stretch Corduroy Pants

I don’t typically go in for pants that are this aggressively color blocked, but the combination of cozy corduroy and the red/green combo has me feeling quite festive. The perfect solution for any holiday gathering at which you will not be wearing a jacket — just grab a solid sweater and a pair of handsome dress kicks and call it a day.

Capstone Blazer

For any holiday gathering at which you WILL be wearing a jacket, grab this bad boy. Just don’t wear it with the above pants — it may not seem like it based on my tone, but there are limits here.

Capstone Wool Tuxedo Jacket

In the event any of your holiday gatherings are super fancy, this is your next step. Please note: everything else must remain super classic — I know this guy is making it look cool with a white tee (Ed. note: on the Bonobos site), but you are not this guy (nor am I), and thus we must tread carefully through the Valley of Tartan.

Jetsetter Italian Stretch Velvet Blazer

If you’ve got that fancy gathering but full-scale plaid ain’t your thing, consider a solid velvet number in its stead — a welcome dose of personality via left-of-center fabric and hue, but slightly more understated and thus a little easier to rock outside the holiday party circuit.