Clean Getaway

Welcome to summer, dapper chaps, when — whether you’re absconding from a financial institution with bags of ill-gotten cash in hand or not — a getaway is most definitely advisable.

The video playbook to help you get there:

Clean Getaway, brought to you in partnership with our pals from British scent house Jo Malone London.

From packing tips to a proper escape vehicle to the LAS (Loud Ass Shirt) you should be wearing for the duration, head right this way for the full monty.

 Photography by Driely S.

We call it an LAS. Stands for Loud Ass Shirt. And if you just follow these five simple rules, you’ll be peacocking (er, flamingoing?) with the best of them in no time.

• The sleeves must be short: For reasons we’re still not entirely certain of, an LAS goes from badass to downright cartoonish the moment sleeves are added. Plus, you know, tickets to the gun show and all that.
• The fit must be slim: Want to be casually referred to as “Tommy Bahama” by your office mates all summer? Didn’t think so.
• Keep the rest quiet: When you’re making a statement this loud, it should be the only statement you’re making. Muted trousers are a must.
• Tuck it in: Not a hard-and-fast rule, really — your correspondent just thinks it looks mad cool.
• You wear the shirt, not vice versa: Most important of the five, as confidence makes all the difference in pulling off an LAS. So go on and give a casual g’day nod to any rubberneckers on the street. Throw a cocksure stride into the mix. Welcome the additional attention with casual nonchalance.*

*Ed. Note: This is where the sunglasses come in.

Avarsity scent move passed to us by the folks at Jo Malone London: matching one’s scent to his destination. But in a season with myriad possible jaunts, how does one properly prepare? Your answer: Jo Malone’s new “Gent’s Edit,” a curated selection of fella-friendly scents that can be worn alone or — even better — layered to create the perfect profile no matter where you’re headed. Contained within: 

• Lime Basil & Mandarin: Peppery basil and aromatic white thyme. Caribbean limes. Excellent for anywhere with colorful drinks/birds.
• Basil & Neroli: Fresh, floral, green. Ideal for Gatsby-style garden parties and polo matches.
• Wood Sage & Sea Salt: Woody and earthy with a healthy dose of salty spray. Great for staring wistfully out at the ocean and hoping some pretty lady sees you doing so.
• Black Cedarwood & Juniper: Woodsy. Misty. Your go-to for beard-growing and any activity that takes place in the shade of gigantic trees.
• Myrhh & Tonka: Sand and smoke, hints of vanilla. Desert vibes. Perfect for Joshua Tree sunsets, dinners on Palm Springs patios.
• Oud & Bergamot: Smoky but crisp. Hints of orange. Optimal for enjoying a mezcal Old Fashioned wherever you damn well please.

When attempting to make a proper clean getaway, traveling light (and handsomely) is a must. The key is to focus on versatility: that is, picking items that all play nice with one another for the maximum number of stylish combinations. Key findings:  

• A white oxford or utility shirt goes with literally everything and plays from poolside to the dinner table.
• A lightweight cardigan in a neutral color weighs almost nothing and has you covered for any dips in temp.
• Same for a windbreaker in the event of rain.
• Shorts that do double duty as swim trunks are finally being done right these days. Get a pair and save space.
• When it comes to tees (stylish, fitted tees, mind you), it never hurts to keep one understated (like a washed navy) and go for broke (like a neon pink) with the other — between that and your LAS, you’re still guaranteed to have a head-turning ensemble.
• Wherever you’re headed, make sure you clean up nice for dinner — an exfoliating shower gel coupled with your #1 scent is a solid baseline.

Aman could be forgiven for opting for a hardtop for his everyday auto — just more practical. This, however, does not negate the unbridled joy of zooming down an open stretch of road with the wind in one’s hair (or over one’s shaved dome, in my case) and the sun on one’s face. And much like double-duty shorts, rental services by which one can easily and cheaply acquire a topless number with some true cojones (Did you hear the engine on that Jaguar F-Type? We sure as hell did.) abound in today’s market. So go on, live a little. You’ll be glad you did.

NNothing against a cold beer or glass of rosé, but there’s something a little more posh about a proper summer cocktail. You just don’t want to spend your whole day mixing drinks. Enter the large-format cocktail: batch, pour, imbibe, repeat.

And while that Pimm’s Cup recipe in the video above is a virtually guaranteed hit, your pals at InsideHook also firmly believe that variety is the spice of vernal life. So herewith, another potent warm weather fave, the Mother’s Ruin — so named for the old British vernacular for gin.

• ½ cup granulated sugar
• ¾ cup La Croix Pamplemousse sparkling water
• 1 ½ cups gin
• 1 ½ cups grapefruit juice
• ¾ cup lemon juice
• ¾ cup sweet vermouth
• 2 ½ cups champagne or prosecco 

• Everything but the champagne into a big pitcher. Stir to dissolve sugar. Pitcher into the fridge for an hour.
• Remove pitcher from fridge and pour into glasses over ice, topping each with a generous amount of champagne. Garnish with a grapefruit wedge.
• Pinkies out.