How to Do Reverse Cowgirl Without Breaking Your Dick

In the interest of full disclosure, I feel compelled to admit that I have never had sex in the reverse cowgirl position, nor do I wish to. Frankly, the position — a variation on the classic “woman-on-top” style that involves the receiving partner straddling the penetrating one while facing away from them — has always struck me as unnecessarily difficult, demanding a level of athleticism this admitted pillow princess is simply unwilling to bring to the bedroom.

A position that leaves the person on top staring at their partner’s feet while giving themselves a thigh workout, reverse cowgirl has always seemed to represent a combination of all the things I hate about doggy style — lack of eye contact and zero view of the action — combined with a level of physical exertion that strikes me as both unappealing and simply unnecessary at this advanced stage of my sex-having career. If you want to have sex with me, knock yourself out, but I’m certainly not here to make things any more difficult for myself than necessary.

Unsurprisingly, however, men love it — or at least often have more interest in giving reverse cowgirl a whirl than I ever have. I would imagine this is partly because reverse cowgirl tends to feature heavily in porn, (which is really all the evidence you need to know that it probably sucks in real life, at least for women) but also because the penetrating partner gets a much better deal in this position. While we cowgirls are stuck staring at your gnarly man feet, you valiant steeds just get to sit back and enjoy the view — one which, according to certified sex therapist and LELO sexpert Casey Tanner, is unparalleled.

“For the person on the bottom, reverse cowgirl offers a view of the penetration unlike any other. This, combined with the view of your partner’s backside as they grind against you, can be an incredibly erotic way to change up your routine,” Tanner tells InsideHook.

Fortunately for reverse cowgirl haters such as myself, the position is often thought to present one major drawback that seems literally designed to scare men off: increased risk of breaking your penis.

Rumors of the dick-breaking dangers of reverse cowgirl have probably been around since the first time someone had the ingenuity to sit backwards on a dick, but the word spread far and wide last month after popular TikTok doctor Karan Raj declared reverse cowgirl the “most dangerous” sex position. In the now-viral video, Dr. Raj warns viewers that the position might just break your boner, claiming reverse cowgirl gone awry is responsible for up to 50 percent of penile fractures.

It’s worth noting that Raj’s claims are disputed, with a 2017 study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research naming doggy style the position most likely to cause penile fracture by a significant margin, with only 10 percent of cases linked to “woman-on-top” positions. Still, for those reverse cowgirl enthusiasts who are now wary of putting their dick on the line, we asked the experts to share some insight into everything you need to know about breaking your penis, and how not to do it.

What actually happens when you “break” your penis?

To be clear, there are no bones in your boner, so you don’t “break” your penis the way you would an arm or a leg. Rather, a penile fracture happens when there is tear in the tunica albuginea, the connective tissue that plays a significant role in maintaining an erection.

“This tissue is under a significant amount of tensile pressure during intercourse,” says Dr. Alexander Tatem, a board-certified urologist specializing in male sexual and reproductive medicine. If you are having sex and all of a sudden you have a drastic increase in axial load — AKA direct pressure — on the penis, “that increase in axial load pressure can blow out the side of the erectile body,” Tatem explains.

This typically happens when the penis slips out during sex and misses its intended point of re-entry, making contact with a hard pubic bone or a tough perineum instead of sliding into a vaginal canal or anus.

“When it happens, it has a very classic story,” says Tatem. “It’s usually a couple enjoying intercourse, then all of a sudden, someone changes in position, something slips out, and you get that injury.” And if it happens, you’ll know. Tatem says the injury is usually accompanied by a sudden painful sensation and an “audible pop,” (yikes) followed by “rapid detumescence, which is the five-dollar-fancy doctor word for: ‘you lose your erection right then or shortly thereafter.’”

If it happens, it’s a medical emergency. “Do not let this heal on its own,” says Tatem. “That is a terrible idea.” Left untreated, the injury can result in significant scar tissue buildup in the penis, which can “bend the erection pretty profoundly” and cause “serious long term erectile dysfunction.” Again, yikes.

How common is penile fracture, and why does it happen during reverse cowgirl?

Fortunately, the real-life incidence of this dramatic injury is relatively low, affecting a rough estimate of around one in 175,000 penis-havers, according to Tatem.

Moreover, whether or not reverse cowgirl is actually any riskier than any other position remains a topic of some dispute. Tatem cites a 2014 study that linked 50 percent of penile fractures to “woman-on-top” positions — noting that the research did not break down the data by which direction any given cowgirl was facing — as well as the 2017 study mentioned above that linked only 10 percent of penile fractures to cowgirl positions. Meanwhile, says Tatem, “Generally speaking, the most severe injuries that we’ve encountered have actually been with doggy style.”

Still, there is some logic to support the theory that reverse cowgirl might be more risky than other positions. “Reverse cowgirl has long been postulated as being particularly risky just because of the angles that are involved,” says Tatem.

Moreover, as previously mentioned, the cowgirl in question is kind of riding blind.

“With less eye contact, and perhaps less attunement to how it feels for the person on the bottom, reverse cowgirl brings a greater likelihood of penile fracture,” says Tanner. “Because the person on top in this position may be bouncing on the penis without a clear visual, they might mistakenly land on top of it, risking pain or fracture.”

If you fall out of sync — something that occasionally happens to even the most rhythmic sex-havers — it may be more difficult for the partner on top to re-orient themselves because, again, they can’t see anything. As Courtney Kocak, co-founder and co-Host of the Private Parts Unknown podcast, puts it: “If you’re out-of-sync, you’re screwed because you’re essentially playing a naked game of Twister.”

Speed is also a factor. “If you’re wildly swinging a hammer at a nail and they’re not properly lined up,” says Kocak, “someone’s probably going to break a finger.” (Or, you know, a dick.)

OK, but how do you not break your penis in reverse cowgirl?

So this has probably all been sufficiently terrifying for you, a person in possession of a working penis who would like it to stay that way. But don’t worry, reverse cowgirl is not a death sentence for your dick.

“I always tell my patients that there’s no particular position that is more or less risky than others, at least according to the data,” says Tatem. “Practically speaking, as far as the angles that are involved, we are suspicious that reverse cowgirl may be riskier than other options,” he admits, but he adds that he would never want to discourage a couple from living out their reverse cowgirl fantasies. “If you and your partner are engaging in reverse cowgirl, it usually means you’ve got a pretty healthy sex life, and we don’t want to inhibit that or discourage people from enjoying themselves.” For Tatum, reverse cowgirl isn’t a hard no, but rather a “proceed with caution.”

Below, some expert tips on how to do just that, maximizing pleasure while minimizing the risk of ending up in the hospital with a broken dick.

Don’t drink and ride

I love drunk sex; you love drunk sex; we all love drunk sex. But the difference between a sexy buzz and a drunken tumble can also be the difference between a healthy penis and a broken one.

“Although this has never been captured adequately in the peer-reviewed literature, the biggest risk factor — at least anecdotally from anyone that’s ever fixed [penile fractures] — is not necessarily position; it’s how drunk or high the couple is at the time of intercourse,” says Tatem.

According to the urologist, penile fractures usually happen when “the penetrative partner slips out and tries to reinsert without properly orienting themselves.” As we all know, drinking to excess has a tendency to screw with your perception and reaction time, making it more likely for your dick to slip out and more difficult to orient yourself upon reentry. So if you’re trying a riskier position or one you and your partner have less experience with, it might be better to save the booze for a post-coital nightcap.

Focus on the rhythm (and slow the hell down)

In reverse cowgirl, the partner on top is primarily in control of the speed, rhythm and depth of penetration. As many women who have been in such positions know, men have a tendency to get a little overexcited and try to take back some of this control. Bad move, especially in reverse cowgirl. Again, in this position, the partner on top can’t see your face or your penis, which makes it hard for them to anticipate and adapt to any sudden changes in speed or rhythm. That’s how your penis slips out and gets crushed by a pelvic bone.

The solution? Just let your cowgirl take the reins. “Focus on staying in rhythm with your partner,” says Kocak. “To win this rodeo, you need your partner to stay on the ride.”

If you want to change the speed, rhythm or depth of penetration, give your partner a verbal warning first, then proceed, carefully.

Easy on the lube

Ordinarily I would never say this, but there is such a thing as too much lube, especially in reverse cowgirl. Lube makes things slippery, and once again, a slipped penis is the first step to a broken one.

“One thing we almost never talk about, but can absolutely be dangerous, is too much lubricant,” says Tanner. “You want just enough that penetration is not tight or painful, but not so much that the penis or strap-on is slipping out unexpectedly. Preventing slippage prevents injury.”

Communicate

This is true of all sex all the time in any position, but communication is key, especially in a position like reverse cowgirl where visual cues are hard to come by.

Using your words is a good place to start, especially if you want to switch up speed, tempo or position. Tanner also recommends developing a few hand motions that can be used to help bridge the visual communication gap.

“To overcome the eye contact barrier in this position, you and a partner might choose language or hand signals to let one another know that something is too much or not enough, thus decreasing the chances of pain or injury,” says Tanner.

Again, the odds of you breaking your penis in any position, including reverse cowgirl, are relatively slim. Still, when it comes to sex, it never hurts to slow down, check in with yourself and your partner, and exercise a reasonable level of caution.

Another great option, of course, is to simply not do reverse cowgirl at all, but that’s just me. If having someone sit backwards on your dick is your idea of a good time, who am I to stop you? To all you brave reverse cowgals and guys, have fun, go easy out there, and for the love of god and unbroken penises, watch where you’re putting your dick.