Take It From a Woman: Read This Before Buying Jewelry for Your Partner

We spoke with jewelry designer Kara Yoo about the dos and don'ts when buying glistening jewels for your beloved

August 22, 2024 6:00 am
A collection of women showing off beautiful jewelry.
It's a big issue if you're not taking her personal style into account.
Getty/InsideHook

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Jewelry is a gift your beloved will never grow tired of receiving. Why’s that? Because gifting jewelry requires real, genuine thoughtfulness. You can’t just gift your partner the first gold bracelet or pair of diamond earrings served to you on Instagram. You have to buy jewelry with intention. 

Maybe you’ve been in a situation where your partner subtly hints at a piece that caught their eye — or has straight up texted you the link of the item they want you to purchase. This might be a healthy transaction you two have agreed upon, but speaking as a woman myself, I love a surprise. I don’t want to pick out my own pair of 14k gold hoop earrings — I want you to notice that the shitty pair I wear everyday is turning my ears green, and I need a higher-quality pair that won’t tarnish with daily wear. I want you to know that my birthstone is emerald, and for my birthday, gift me a dazzling necklace set with the deep green stone. And for the holidays, surprise me with a heart-stopping tennis bracelet from one of my favorite brands. (Okay, maybe I’m getting greedy, but a girl can dream!)

Hopefully you get the picture. Don’t act like a hapless idiot who needs the woman in your life to hold your hand through the process. You’ve spent a considerable amount of time with this person. You should have some semblance of what they like to wear. 

Still, buying jewelry can be quite difficult. Like makeup or skincare, everyone has different needs and preferences — on style, on metal type, on brands they like. Some women might prefer the prestige of brands like Tiffany or David Yurman, while others would rather have unique pieces from brands like Catbird or Monica Vinader. Plus, there are now a plethora of “demi-fine” jewelry brands on the market.

How do they differ from fine jewelry? Should you gift one over the other? When it comes to metal types, should you go gold or silver? And if you want to give her a ring (an engagement ring or something less consequential), how do you know that it will fit her finger? Luckily, I have all the answers you need, and then some, thanks to Kara Yoo, designer and owner of her namesake jewelry brand

If you’re unfamiliar with the Vancouver-based jewelry studio, Kara Yoo specializes in expressive, versatile and timeless pieces. Focusing on sustainability and ethical practices, the brand ensures its materials are responsibly sourced and its production minimizes environmental impact. The female-run team’s cornerstone is detailed craftsmanship, using high-quality materials to ensure long-lasting wear. 

Since Yoo is an expert on tasteful, first-rate jewelry (and a woman herself), I sought her advice on best practices when buying jewelry for your partner.

InsideHook: What do you think men typically get wrong when buying jewelry for their partner?

Kara Yoo: I think it’s a big issue if your partner isn’t taking your personal style into account when buying you jewelry.

When it comes to demi-fine and fine jewelry, what is the difference? What should men know about karat sizes and how to identify higher-quality jewelry?

Demi-fine jewelry consists of pieces made from sterling silver, gold vermeil (2.5 microns of gold plating over silver) or heavy gold-plated brass (also with 2.5 microns of gold plating). These pieces often incorporate genuine gemstones and freshwater cultured pearls, which are generally more affordable.

Fine jewelry, on the other hand, is crafted from karat gold or other precious metals like palladium or platinum. The higher value of these metals usually allows for the use of more expensive gemstones and higher-quality pearls, such as saltwater pearls.

The higher the karat, the greater the gold content. For example: 

  • 10K gold contains 10 out of 24 parts pure gold, making it 42% pure gold, with the remaining 58% consisting of other metals like copper.
  • 14K is 14 out of 24 parts pure gold, so it is 58% pure gold.
  • 18K is 18 out of 24 parts pure gold, so it is 75% pure gold. 
  • 24K is 24 out of 24 parts pure gold, so it is 100% pure gold.

The higher the karat, the richer the gold color. 14K and 18K are the most common gold alloys in North America, and you can’t go wrong with either of them.

Consumers should be aware that white gold is often plated with rhodium to achieve a brighter, silvery-white appearance and to mask any yellowish tinge from the gold content. Additionally, white gold is frequently alloyed with nickel, which can cause skin sensitivities for some people. However, there are special types of white gold that do not contain nickel and do not require rhodium plating. Be sure to ask your jeweler about these options!

Higher-quality jewelry is typically made with gold higher than 10K. Pay attention to the thickness of the metal, particularly on ring shanks and gemstone prongs, as very thin metal can be more prone to bending and damage.

Gold or silver? How do men know what metal choice to buy?

I would look at your partner’s current collection of jewelry and see what metal type they wear the most and go with that. 

Ring measurements, in particular, can be tricky. How do you shop for a ring when you’re unsure of your partner’s size?

I would suggest borrowing one of your partner’s rings. Choose one with a similar width to the ring you’re considering and ensure it’s for the same finger.

Before buying a high-end piece of jewelry, do you think it’s best for men to discuss the style/gemstone/metal with their partner? Or leave it as a surprise?

I think it depends on the occasion. For an occasion like a birthday, Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day, a surprise gift is usually best. However, for an engagement, it’s helpful to gather some information about what your partner is looking for. If you can subtly probe without being too obvious, that’s a bonus!

What are three classic jewelry styles you think you can’t go wrong with gifting?

Sculptural hoops, necklace with a birthstone pendant, and cuff bracelets

Where can our readers shop for reputable, high-quality jewelry? Are there any brands/retailers that you think they should stay away from?

I would look for local jewelers, whether or not they have a storefront, who craft their jewelry from start to finish. If you’re getting custom jewelry made, make sure you like the jeweler’s work and aesthetic. I would steer clear of big box jewelry stores, as they often have generic styles and can be overpriced.

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