Where to Take Her Mr & Mrs Smith

Because every man needs a plan, and some of us need that plan with a flowchart, we present Where to Take Her: a series that answers a gentleman’s most pressing lifestyle questions and recurs whenever we get around to it.

This go-round: Get a Room. For her. For you. For the holidays. It’s one of those win-win gifts.

Below: seven of the most bonkers accommodations you’ve ever seen, as curated by our friends at Mr & Mrs Smith, a boutique lodging concern run by a team of expert travel consultants who are at your disposal 24/7/365.

Step 1) Use the flowchart to identify your digs of choice. Step 2) Pick up Mr & Mrs Smith’s Get a Room Card, good for the dollar-amount of your choosing to any of their 400+ global properties. Step 3) Pair with a handwritten note. Step 4) Profit.

The Laslett
London, UK

Stiff-collared and Victorian on the outside, funky and Afro-Caribbean on the inside. The Laslett equips a manageable but not overly intimate 51 rooms, with markets, theaters, shops and Kensington Palace — aka William and Kate’s abode — all within walking distance.

G Rough
Rome, Italy

A 10-suite pension embellished with modern Italian design throughout, from in-room velvet loungers to a gold-tiled bar that hosts work from local artists. Don’t sleep on their sterling rep for hospitality: the concierge is happy to book everything from a comes-to-you hairdresser to some Vespas for coasting around the neighborhood.

The Siam
Bangkok, Thailand

A charming, 39-room ode to the Jazz Age, from the vintage cocktail posters adorning the walls to the gramophones and travel trunks scattered about the lobby. The real hook here, though? A functioning Muay Thai boxing ring where guests are invited to learn the ropes before hitting the pool and top-class spa amenities to unwind.

Hotel La Semilla
Riviera Maya, Mexico

A cozy, road-less-traveled gem with a relaxed, locals-only vibe and nine lovingly curated rooms to laze about in between saunters up and down the beach. Make sure you partake of the backyard hammock, free bike rentals and courtyard breakfasts. Owners Alexis and Angie will even pack your beach kit with umbrellas, cooler, towels and more — all you need to do is take the two-minute stroll to the shore.

Goldeneye
Oracabessa, Jamaica

This hotel that gave its name to a James Bond film also served as the setting wherein more than a dozen James Bond novels were penned. As if that’s not enough, Goldeneye is equipped with a treetop restaurant and swim-up spa to round out the Bond-ian allure. At the end of the day enjoy the utter delight of a warm outdoor shower: there’s something unbeatable about showering en plein air. Trust us.

Ventana Inn & Spa
Big Sur, California

A leathery, oak-beamed lodge that bridges the Cali mountain/ocean divide with aplomb. Nearby beaches are accessible only by hike, so pack some Luna bars. Upon your return, take a load off with a Japanese hot bath and Chef Paul Corsentino’s four-course tasting menu.

Topping Rose House
Hamptons, New York

Chic and modern, the Topping Rose House boasts 22 rooms, a heated pool, spa treatments and gallery-curated art. The free Lexuses and bicycles for use during your stay don’t hurt, either. Family and pet friendly, if it’s that kind of getaway. Don’t forget the white linens, boaters and a passable Continental accent.