There’s Never Been a Better Time to Be a Dull Man

One of my favorite things I love about my partner is the fact that he’s incredibly passionate about a slew of hobbies, specifically ones I didn’t think men in their 20s were interested in. He doesn’t have a TikTok account because he has no interest in having one. He has shelves stocked with books he actually reads. He plays chess. He’s good at piano and loves jazz music. On one of our first dates, he asked me to help him pick out herbs he wanted to start growing.

It’s all incredibly wholesome stuff. He has a wide palate for finding new interests and really becoming immersed in them, and I find that admirable, especially in an age where it seems like all men in their 20s do is scroll on social media or make going to the gym their only hobby. Needless to say, I’m not alone in adoring this trait of watching a partner lovingly fixate on their favorite, maybe mundane-seeming leisurely interests.

Right now on TikTok, boyfriends and husbands are sharing their niche little hobbies while their girlfriends or wives defend them, warning viewers and commenters that “they better be nice.” The common theme here is most of these hobbies aren’t necessarily stereotypically masculine and over-the-top, or they’re presenting them with a child-like gleefulness that makes these videos feel all the more pure.

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Whether it be plants, Pokémon cards or chess like my boyfriend, it’s clear that having a partner with a mundane hobby is kind of hot. For one, the science is all there: Having a hobby is good for you. It can help with managing stress levels, social wellbeing, mood and even your immune system. And if you’re feeling good mentally and physically, a potential partner is bound to notice your confidence and pleasure for life, which in turn makes you generally more attractive.

Having a hobby also gives you something to make time for outside of your work day, which seems like a pretty impressive thing to do anymore. Life is busy, but rallying your energy toward something you like and feel driven about simply for pleasure? Hot. That said activity having nothing to do with scrolling on your phone? Even hotter. It shows you’re well-rounded, passionate and not chronically glued to screens like the rest of us. You’re also educated on a hyper-niche topic that not everyone is, which adds another lovely layer to all of this.

It doesn’t even matter if the hobby seems “dull” to the public eye. That gives it a negative connotation. Even if it’s simple like watering plants or bird watching, you’re doing more than a lot of other people. Only 67% of adults in the United States report having multiple hobbies. In a world where people are social media-obsessed and constantly staying on top of “trends,” it’s much cooler to do your own thing that makes you happy, even if it seems dry by societal standards. You aren’t alone in your dry hobby, either. Enter: the Dull Men’s Club.

Yes, this a club where “dullsters,” according to the website, can revel in the fulfillment of life’s mundaneness. Their motto is “Celebrating the Ordinary.” They find peace in JOMO (Joy of Missing Out, as opposed to its popular opposite, FOMO). It’s “a place to slow down, enjoy simple, everyday things, escape the troubles of life today,” per the homepage, which features a range of topical conversations circulating within the group. This Thursday is World Sauntering Day, per the site, and last week was International Clothesline Week. Who knew!

There’s even a 36-point list to see whether or not you may be able to consider yourself as a dull man depending on what you like to do, including raking leaves, taking naps, watching the ocean tides go in and out or eating mac and cheese. As a woman myself, I can confirm that this honestly sounds like a pretty solid way to spend a day.

Ultimately, there’s no shame here. Only attraction. Embrace your little hobby with confidence and know that the right person will love you for your mundane pleasures.