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Alright, you guys. I wrote in this space a few weeks ago that all the “last-minute” gift guides that start popping up around mid-November make my blood boil, but we’re now officially reaching the point of holiday shopping season where you’re…kinda fucked. Sure, you still have a few days to spare if you’re willing to go shopping at an actual store (not recommended), but if you’re looking to get it all done without leaving your computer, you don’t have a whole lot of options left. You could of course pay exorbitant fees for expedited shipping (no shame, I’ve done it many times), or, as ever and for better or worse, you could turn to Amazon. It won’t necessarily feel good, but it’ll get the job done.
And even if you’ve already gotten the big gifts out of the way, there’s a good chance you’ve forgotten about all those stockings that need stuffing. And I’m willing to bet one or more of said stockings belong to a person of the female persuasion — in which case, I’ve got some good news for you.
We have somehow reached a moment in time when my wife, my 9-year-old daughter, my 14-year-old daughter, and all the 20- and 30-something women I work with are all into the exact same shit. Whether it’s because of TikTok, Instagram Reels, YouTube Shorts or some combination of the three, depending on the age of the person in question, there’s a handful of skincare brands that are currently all the rage with women spanning multiple generations. Some are more appropriate for kids than others, Sydney Sweeney is the face of at least one of them, and their packaging is what my children would describe as “aesthetic,” even though their doing so is a nightmare for those of us who care about how words work.
If you’re left wondering why you should trust me, a 46-year-old man, about any of this, I get it. But believe me when I tell you that basically every flat surface in my home contains at least one of these products, to the point where I was able to come up with this list off the top of my head in, no joke, about 10 minutes.
Anyway, all these items are available on Amazon and will arrive on your doorstep in time for Christmas. Now’s your chance to appear ever so slightly less clueless to the ladies in your life. Hit me up if you have any questions, and I’ll happily consult my 9-year-old.
Glossier Balm Dotcom Coconut
At some point in the not too distant past, Glossier tweaked the formula on their hugely successful Balm Dotcom lip balms, and I guess people got angry enough that the brand has now released a new line of “original formula” versions. Honestly, I can’t tell if this is one of those or not, but I’d argue that even knowing this ridiculous tidbit will impress them more than the gift itself.
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