Death Row Meals

BY DANNY AGNEW / JANUARY 28, 2020 9:24 AM

If you had exactly one meal left to eat on earth, what would it comprise?

That’s the question we recently posed to several notable individuals in the culinary world — or, rather, we asked them, “If you were on death row and could create any menu for your last meal, what would be on it?”

We also provided a set of rules, which were as follows:

1. The meal must consist of three courses, plus a beverage. The typical course arrangement would be appetizer/main/dessert, but you are not tied to this.

2. The dishes can come from anywhere. Any chef/restaurant in the world, your Dear Departed Nana, etc., but they must come from somewhere specific. In this scenario, each dish would arrive in optimum condition as though it were prepared in the next room and delivered immediately.

3. No two dishes can come from the same place.

4. None of the dishes can be self-prepared. All must come from the culinary hand of someone else.

Our murderer’s row (pardon the pun) of culinary talent came back with with an avalanche of amazing dishes — a tart from St. Tropez here, some salumi from Italy there, even a burger from a certain Southern California chain of note.

It goes without saying that if said dishes are good enough to make the final menu of folks who do this for a living (and win copious accolades for their efforts), wethinks they might be deserving of a pilgrimage on your part.

Read on and decide for yourself where to start.

“I didn’t have really excellent Mexican food until I was well into my twenties. My guilty pleasure is tacos — lots of them. I’d have a fish taco with the catch of the day from the beaches of Sayulita, Mexico.”

My granny, Maude, made the best fudge. I do believe it’s why I am a chocolate fanatic. It is also one of the reasons I named my first restaurant after her.

“I just asked someone the other day, ‘If you had to give up red or white wine or rosé, what would you choose?’ For me, I’d have a really hard time giving up rosé. I love it and drink it all summer.”

“My starter would be half a dozen oysters served to me at Rules, London’s oldest restaurant. They don’t need to be fancy natives. Rocks will do. What matters is the theatre: the spindle frame for the platter, the muslin-wrapped lemon, the bottle of Tabasco looking more medicinal than gastronomic. I first ate oysters here with my mother, when I was 10 years old and understood it as an introduction to the adult world. Each oyster slurped off the half shell would be an act of remembrance.”

“Dessert would be a Mont Blanc, that virtuous interplay of meringue, whipped cream and chestnut purée punched up with Armagnac, but it must be served to me by the British chef Henry Harris at his now closed restaurant Racine. Henry makes the best Mont Blanc I have ever eaten, and in my pursuit of my last meal on earth, I ate them all over the planet.”

(Ed. note: while a sojourn to Racine is no longer in the cards, it bears noting that Chef Harris now presides over a collection of celebrated London gastropubs — The Harcourt, The Hero of Maida, Three Cranes and The Coach.)

“The drink would be a liqueur glass filled with advocaat and a depth charge of cherry brandy, the red swirling out from the yellow of the boozy custard. It’s a terrible drink, but it’s the first booze I ever drank, when I was nine years old, courtesy of my mother who felt I should be introduced to alcohol early. She had once been a nurse and therefore called it ‘blood and pus.’ That added to the frisson.”

“My mom passed away a long time ago, but to this day I remember the pasta she’d make. It was old-school — she’d make the sauce once every few months, put a ton of it in the basement freezer (all good Italian Americans have a basement freezer) and we’d slowly consume it until it was time to make more. I remember it included red wine and tomato paste and Italian sweet sausage and tons of other stuff. We’d eat it with prosciutto tortellini that we’d buy at Balducci’s in the village. It was perfect.

On the side, a small sausage pizza from Grimaldi’s, with garlic powder, and a side of ranch dressing for dipping.”

“A slice of crack pie from Milk Bar, because my wife is Christina Tosi and if I’m on death row, it means I did something pretty bad and am probably in the dog house — so I gotta do anything I can to get on her good side. Also it’s delicious.”

“A REALLY good glass of Barolo. Probably Conterno.”

“Thai fried egg salad from Soei in Bangkok, Thailand. The first time I ate at this restaurant a few years ago I fell in love with it and I make sure I visit it once a year when I go to Thailand. The menu changes but the one thing I always make sure to order is this Thai fried egg salad. It is a very simple dish using wonderful fresh ingredients, and this is the best version out there. I’m not sure how the chef gets the egg so crispy without overcooking the egg yolk, but I try to figure it out every time. The dish consists of three fried eggs (with a runny yolk), a dressing made with fish sauce, lime juice, a pinch of sugar (and I think maggi) garnished with red and green fresh Thai chilis, white pepper, raw garlic slices and cilantro. Super simple but absolutely delicious. I can’t wait to eat it again in a few weeks.”

“Crème brûlée donut from Doughnut Plant and an egg coffee from Hanoi, Vietnam (Ed. note: more on that in a second). There’s nothing I love more than a good donut and I am lucky enough to have Doughnut Plant only a few blocks from my restaurant. My favorite donut they have is the crème brûlée, but I only like getting them in the morning when the donuts are super fresh and the brulée’d sugar on top is still super crispy.”

I think the best coffee in the world comes from Vietnam, and in Hanoi they make egg coffee, which is Vietnamese coffee topped with sabayon. It’s super strong and rich and decadent and tastes like tiramisu in a cup.

“Agnolotti di Lidia Alciati al Tovagliolo from Guido Ristorante in Piedmont, Italy. This is THE definitive Piedmontese dish — where I’m from. Using their mother’s original recipe, no one does agnolotti like them. They serve it without any condiments, on a cloth napkin — just like their family eats it at home. As soon as they are ready, most families like to steal a couple from the pan before adding any sauce — you cannot resist.”

“Chargrilled Turbot from Restaurante Elkano in Getaria, Spain. It is difficult to be simple. Elkano does simple to perfection with the best grilled turbot I have ever had. I was there on vacation with my business partner Alex and our Spanish friend booked our table, so we were taken care of so well. The owner stayed with us and he portioned for us, telling us the story about the fish, allowing us to appreciate its many different flavors — from the spine to the head.  No side dish. You don’t need it.”

Barolo Borgogno Liste 2013. Barolo is the king of Italian wine. This cru is very small, in the center of Barolo and only two producers make it. 2013 is probably the best vintage in the last 20 years. This Barolo could age 50 years … it is immortal.

“Grilled pork neck from Tong Tem Toh in Chang Mai, Thailand. Salted, dried then grilled pork with the best chili dip that I will never be able to recreate (Nam Pring Ong), so good that I went back the next day to eat there because I couldn’t stop thinking about this dish.”

“Pepperoni Pizza From Lucali in Brooklyn — the crust, the cheese, the meat and the fresh basil makes for a great example of why sometimes less is more.”

“Lime Agua Fresca from the park ‘La Alameda’ in my hometown of Torreon Coahuila.”

“My dad’s crab cake with smoked onion remoulade from An American Place, circa 1986. It was the first time I remember eating at a ‘fancy’ restaurant and I just remember eating it and being amazed that food could make you feel so happy. And in school in second or third grade they asked everyone to write their favorite food, and everyone made fun of me because I wrote ‘crab cake with smoked onion remoulade.'”

“I was traveling through the hills of Oaxaca, tasting and meeting the mezcal makers with the Del Maguey crew (Steve Olson and Ron Cooper). When we stopped at Santo Domingo, the family had prepared a lamb barbacoa. The hide was even still hanging on the laundry line. They were cooking it in a stone kitchen over an open fire in an earthenware pot, the whole thing was covered in avocado leaves. They told us they only kill one lamb a year but were so excited we were coming. The woman who cooked it found out I was a chef and asked if I liked it, and I was so overcome with emotion that I actually started to cry, which has never happened to me before with food!”

“Del Maguey Santo Domingo mezcal, neat in a copita.”

“A sashimi plate — Ebodai/Butterfish, Mirugai/Geoduck, Toro/Bluefin Tuna, Tai/Snapper — prepared by Yutaka Saito, formally the owner and chef of Saito’s Japanese Café in the Belltown neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. I worked at Saito’s while in culinary school and to this day feel the impact of that training in both how I work as a chef and live life in general.”

(Ed. note: while Saito’s unfortunately closed back in 2009, those looking to experience Chef Yutaka’s cuisine can find him in New Delhi, where he’s been been steadily introducing the Indian population to Japanese flavors at Simply Sushi.)

“Grilled lobster tails cooked over coconut husk coals, with a simple Ix Ni Pek salsa — habañero, tomato, onion, cilantro and lime. Served with fresh tortillas and black beans cooked in a clay pot. Made by my Dad, Manuel Garcia, RIP.”

“Martinelli’s Sparkling Apple Juice. As a kid we grew up with very little, if any, processed foods or sugars in our diet. On special occasions such as Christmas, Mom would get one bottle of Martinelli’s. One bottle split between the four of us was gone in seconds. Sometimes I would shoot it, other days I would sip it painfully slow to savor the moment. As an adult, we ensure there is Martinelli’s at very family event and now we buy it by the case!”

“I’ve had some great appetizers in my time, but one stands out — and I can confidently say I have eaten it hundreds of times. The Steamed Green Lip Abalone at Eaton in Sydney, Australia is absolutely exceptional. Lightly steamed in soy and ginger, finished with a rich house-made XO sauce, which is packed with black beans, shallots, dried scallops and a butt-load of chili, finished with some fresh cilantro — it’s a seafood lover’s dream come true.”

“My main course is a weird one, the ‘fry up.’ It’s actually a breakfast dish in my native Scotland, but it has all my favorite things on one plate: the creamiest haggis, the richest blood pudding, the crispiest potato scones, smoked bacon, square sausage with two fried eggs and baked beans — all washed down with Irn-Bru. Not the healthiest, but 1) cures any hangover, 2) FUCK it’s delicious and 3) who gives a shit if you’re about to get sizzled like the sausage you just ate anyway. As a child, my pops would make this for all the cousins who spent the weekend at my grandparents’ house, but until the age of about 10, I was only given boring old corn flakes — I later found out that this was due to my misbehavior. One weekend I just kept my trap shut, and on Sunday morning my grannie rewarded me with the best ‘fry up’ I’ve ever had (my aunt Christine’s comes in a close second).”

“The aforementioned icy cold can of Irn-Bru.”

(Ed. note: we had to look it up, turns out this is an insanely popular Scottish soda that tastes, according to various reports, like “liquid bubble gum” and/or “rusty nails.” Presumably a combination of national pride/nostalgia led to this choice on Paul’s part.)

“Raw Sicilian Red Shrimp, Sicilian Langoustine & Sea Urchin from Trattoria iI Marinaio in Milan. Milano is known for being noble and fancy, and then you stumble upon this place that is very casual and not what you’d expect from a place that is so well-known. It’s one of the freshest fish spots you’ll find in Milano, so fresh it feels like you’re eating something caught by a fisherman and put directly onto your plate. I feel very connected to this place because it focuses on providing great cuisine rather than relying on being famous for its chef. I would eat this every single day of my life.”

“The ‘Beat Bobby Flay’ Tiramisu by Chef Amanda Rockman, Culinary Director at New Waterloo. While she also created the tiramisu on the menu of my restaurant, Il Brutto, I specifically love her version of the non-traditional tiramisu she created — and won with — on ‘Beat Bobby Flay.’ It’s a classic dessert that reminds me of growing up in Italy. However, her interpretation of the dessert is anything but classic. It’s well-balanced, interesting and unexpected.”

“A glass of Tenuta San Guide Sassicaia. For me, it’s simply the best. I love this wine because it’s complex — it’s a very long experience in the mouth due to its acidity. The aromas of black currant, violet, blackberry and black pepper make it impeccably balanced.”