Pornhub is very concerned that we’re all spending this pandemic rubbing up against random, potentially dangerous household items to get off instead of using sex toys. So worried, in fact, that the porn streaming powerhouse took it upon itself to launch an entire campaign to get us to put down the electric toothbrush, and pick up one of Pornhub’s new sex toys.
The “Not My Job” campaign launched this week, complete with a music video set to the tune of Bloodhound Gang’s “The Bad Touch” in which anthropomorphic household items come to life and beg not to be repurposed as makeshift sex toys. If that sounds disturbing, that’s because it kind of is! But you can watch it here anyway.
To be fair, Pornhub’s concern might not be entirely misplaced — searches for DIY sex toys reportedly saw a significant spike during lockdown earlier this year, and the video’s creators said the objects in the video, including cucumbers, vacuum cleaners and car tailpipes, were all inspired by real life tales of makeshift sex toys gone wrong.
“We actually did an incredible amount of research for this project,” said Creative Director David Martin Angelus in a press release. “We scanned hundreds of articles and forums online to find the wildest objects that had been used as sex toys. It’s amazing what people will have sex with when there isn’t a sex toy handy, especially in the current climate of shelter in place.”
In an effort to keep you from sticking it in your car’s tailpipe as we brace ourselves for winter during a pandemic, Pornhub has also released a brand new line of sex toys. New products in the Pornhub Toys collection include a vibrating wand, handcuffs and an anal training kit — because not only do you have to wash your asshole before sex, you have to train it too.
As we all settle in for what will undoubtedly be a weird, sad winter that will most likely find us confined to our homes again, you’re probably going to want some sex toys, and they probably shouldn’t just be random things you find lying around your house. Fortunately, Pornhub, which has repeatedly proven itself one of the most unlikely heroes of the COVID-19 pandemic, has you covered.
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