Earlier this summer, I called for a great road head renaissance, and it turns out I was onto something. But this is 2020, so why risk contracting coronavirus getting road head from a fellow human when you could just get it from your car?
This, I can only imagine, is the rationale behind Automoblow, aka “the world’s first pleasure device for self-driving cars.” Just in case there’s any ambiguity here, yes, this is a sex toy for your car. You can see it in action in this video.
The Automoblow comes to you from the makers of the Autoblow A.I., an artificial intelligence-powered oral sex simulator that promises the “perfect blowjob.” With the Automoblow attachment, penis-having oral sex enthusiasts can take their perfect blowjob machine on the go, keeping them entertained while their Teslas are busy driving themselves.
While Automoblow inventor Brian Sloan admits that some may consider his automated road head machine “unnecessary,” the team behind the Automoblow maintains the device will become increasingly popular as self-driving cars become more common, leaving bored drivers-turned-passengers desperate for a way to pass the time they would’ve once had to spend operating their motor vehicle.
Related:
Road Head Is the Sex Act of Summer 2020
The 15 Best Quarantine Sex Toys
“Artificial intelligence, as it is used in self-driving cars and even in our male sex toy, frees humans from mundane tasks and allows us to spend our time in more productive ways or in leisure,” said Sloan in a press release. “As self-gratification is a popular leisure activity and controlling a car is not particularly enjoyable, it is self-evident that many men will choose to buy an Automoblow,” he explained, which, frankly, seems like sound logic to me.
Moreover, the press release explains that having a handy in-car masturbator will also give drivers the opportunity to rub one out before or after stressful events, “such as dental appointments and,” unfortunately, “funerals.”
Whether or not you masturbate in your car after funerals is really none of my business, but if that’s what you’re into, Automoblow is here for you, combining the best in self-driving cars, self-pleasure and, I guess, self-care.
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