Man Unleashes Religious Tirade on Women in Bikinis

In case you missed it, the worst person on the internet this week is a religious zealot from Colorado who lashed out at a group of women for having the craven audacity to *checks notes* wear bikinis … at the beach. Footage from the incident recorded by one the man’s teenage targets has since gone viral on TikTok, showing the man known as Logan Dorn harassing the women in the name of his lord and savior after being driven to “righteous anger” by the women’s choice of beachwear, which he deemed inappropriate to the point of being pornographic.

“Take young eyes into consideration,” he said to the women. “They don’t need to see pornography right in front of them. You’re flaunting your stuff.” Despite the women’s polite requests that Dorn simply leave them alone and avert his gaze if he found their bikinis so offensive, he continued to barrage them with his bizarre moral tirade, invoking “free will,” “freedom of speech” and, of course, Jesus.

“If men of God don’t stand up, then our society’s gonna go down the drain because there’s no morality,” he said, before pivoting to paraphrasing random Bible quotes like, “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you,” and reminding the women that they will, one day, “come face-to-face with God,” at which point they will presumably be forced to atone for the grave sin of wearing a bikini on the beach.

At one point, a woman accompanying Dorn decided to throw in her own two cents, suggesting that while she may not agree with Dorn’s reasoning, the women should be ashamed of their outfit choice (which, again, consisted of bikinis at the beach). “It does matter what you guys wear, not because of what he says, but because you need to value yourself,” she tells the women.

Footage of the incident, which is equal parts amusing and disturbing, has since gone viral, racking up millions of views across various social media platforms. Naturally, the bikini-clad women have attracted plenty of support from the many people who think that women should wear whatever the hell they want wherever the hell they want to, particularly when that consists of swimwear to the beach.

Regardless, Dorn has refused to back down, taking to social media to share his “side of story,” which obviously no one asked for. According to Dorn, he was empowered by a flood of “righteous anger” and “the Holy Spirit” to confront the women over fears that their bikini-wearing ways would corrupt the young minds of innocent beach-going children.

“Right then and there, I felt just a righteous anger come over me, and also just a boldness by the Holy Spirit just to go and confront these ladies and to speak to truth that, ‘Hey, what you’re wearing is not OK for a 9-year-old boy or a 6-year-old boy,’” he said. “Being introduced to pornography at a young age, it destroyed me and I [had] in that moment just a righteous anger to defend and protect young eyes.”

To most rational human beings, this pivot to porn and its devastating effects may seem like a pretty jarring non sequitur. In Dorn’s mind, however, a woman wearing a bathing suit at a beach is apparently pornographic. So, to clarify, a woman wearing a bikini is not porn, nor is porn inherently evil. In fact, watching porn can be a very healthy way to experience pleasure and learn about one’s own sexuality. What is arguably much more likely to corrupt and traumatize a young child at the beach is the site of a grown man unleashing a religious tirade on a bunch of young women for wearing entirely normal beachwear.

Anyway, if you find the sight of women in bathing suits offensive, might I recommend simply not going to the beach, and also probably therapy? In the meantime, no one tell this guy about nude beaches.