Emma Thompson Has Spoken: Underwear Is Canceled

Prior to this morning, I can’t say I’ve spent much time thinking about Emma Thompson’s underwear — which is good, because apparently she hasn’t been wearing any.

The actress made her surprisingly strong anti-undergarments stance known during a recent interview with British morning show Lorraine, in which she was asked about the underwear she had to don beneath the dramatic costumes she wore for her role as fashion designer Baroness von Hellman in Cruella. Sounds like kind of a personal question, but Thompson opened right up, sharing her thoughts not only on the “industrial” undergarments she had to wear for the film, but also underwear in general.

The actress described the shapewear her elaborate Cruella costumes demanded as “torture,” and compared the process of fitting her body into the shape-shifting undergarments to squeezing a tube of toothpaste: “If you squeeze it hard enough in the middle, things will come up and go down and make shapes.”

Clearly, this doesn’t sound very comfortable, but squeezing into undergarments that turn one into a human tube of toothpaste was especially unpleasant for Thompson, a woman who apparently doesn’t like to wear any kind of underwear at all.

“I don’t like underwear, full stop,” she said during the interview. “I stopped wearing underwear a long time ago, it’s not my scene.” And she’s not just talking about notoriously uncomfortable thongs or g-strings women got tricked into wearing for some reason. Even underwear rumored to “comfortable” is off-limits for Thompson. In fact, as far as she’s concerned, there’s really no such thing. “I don’t like comfortable underwear,” she went on. “I find comfortable underwear uncomfortable.”

It’s impossible to say when exactly Thompson parted ways with panties, but this revelation from our fearless commando icon seems to have set the tone for summer. May we all follow Thompson’s lead and go forth into hot vax/no underwear summer with massive thighs, short shorts and absolutely nothing underneath.