Something happened when I got to the locker room at Archimedes Banya: I realized that I forgot my trunks. I knew that Banya was a clothing-optional bathhouse to begin with, but I figured I’d play it safe on my first trip there with the full-on nudity and just test the waters with my jewels covered up. Alas, without my trunks that was now no longer an option, so I just said “screw it” and walked out onto the floor of both men and women with nothing underneath the bathrobe I was about to take off. When it came time to bathe, it turns out it was the clothed folks that were by far the minority in this uniquely bohemian Russian bathhouse in the middle of nowhere.
Banya is squarely on the outskirts of San Francisco. It’s on the edge of India Basin below new condo developments that hang even further below the Hunter’s Point projects near the old Naval shipyard. The neighborhood itself feels like a collision of extremes. SF Rec & Parks’ shiny new $200 million India Basin Waterfront Park is on the same side of the street as the nondescript Banya building, a sneaky cool cannabis dispensary is a few empty lots down and dudes are blasting Larry June bangers from the speakers of their classic cars while they pop into a nearby liquor store. There are people who live in San Francisco who never venture further south than the Mission, and to them, India Basin and Banya might as well be in another galaxy. But to the slightly more adventurous (a short drive away, heavens!) there is a palace of relaxation unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in San Francisco.
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How a decorated fine-dining chef and a madman butcher brought the rarest cuts to San FranciscoAt its core, Banya is a Russian bathhouse. Along with a typical Finnish-style dry sauna and Turkish Hammam steam room, there are two super hot Russian sauna rooms heated by a 22,000 pound stove covered in Russian tiles. And when I say it’s hot, it’s really hot. It’s anywhere between 170 and 210 degrees in there. But the beauty of the Russian sauna is in its semi-humid atmosphere that rests between 30% and 40% humidity. If you’ve ever felt like your lungs are getting dried out by the cedar wood musk of a dry sauna, then the Russian variation is for you. At Banya, the rooms have three-tiered seating for varying temperatures within the 13 foot ceiling space, and it makes for an especially detoxifying experience. There’s a speaker system playing chilled-out tunes like Air’s “Alone in Kyoto,” sure. But then there’s an ultimate way to experience the Russian sauna at Banya, and it’s in the form of a treatment referred to as the “tsar” of this place: Venik Platza.
In addition to a Banya day pass (or a happy hour pass from noon to 4 p.m., like I did) you get the option to add on a number of spa services that range from traditional scrubs and body washes, to massages and full-on assisted stretching sessions inside of a sauna. Whatever the “tsar” treatment was felt like the best way to learn the ropes, and I was entranced by this most unusual therapeutic massage. The venik itself is a bundle of fragrant Russian white oak, birch, eucalyptus or juniper, and it’s instrumental to the platza ritual. I was led into the Russian sauna, laid on the bench and a Banya therapist wacked my body up and down with the soaked bunch of white oak that released incredible vapors that I inhaled while my skin was cleansed, my pores opened up and my muscles relaxed by the process. It lasted about 10 minutes, at which point I was directed to take a brief dip in a cold plunge tub outside of the sauna before being finished off with a bath of warm mint, eucalyptus and oak tea. It was rejuvenating to say the least, and I felt like I could breathe deeper than I had in months when it was done.
After the platza, I was free to keep exploring Banya’s many corners, and I did just that. In addition to the saunas, there’s multiple hot soaking tubs, a jacuzzi and that frigid cold plunge on the main floor which feels pretty damn great after a session in the steam room. The communal layout gives rise to conversation with other bathers, and this is part of the ethos of Banya, that a bathhouse gives rise to the best ideas. The full name, Archimedes Banya, is in fact a reference to the Greek mathematician, Archimedes of Syracuse. You know, the guy who famously proclaimed “Eureka!” when he discovered the principle of buoyancy while soaking in a bathtub.
I don’t know that I developed any world-beating ideas while I was at Banya, but I certainly met an eclectic mix of people. There was a techie I talked to about our dogs while we were soaking in a tub who told me he had just retired at the age of 38. There was a girl who was there to take advantage of Banya’s free birthday pass who was struggling with the heat in the Russian sauna, and we debriefed about our shared experience afterwards. There were a lot of older Russian men commiserating both in and out of the sauna, finding community in a place that was built in the spirit of their traditional bathhouses back home. There were younger Russian men too, younger American women and men enjoying themselves in a hot tub. And while there were bros who looked like they wouldn’t dare take their trunks off, most everyone was naked. I didn’t notice any creeps lurking, and it was a freeing experience to feel like a nudist for a few hours, bathing in harmony therapeutically amongst each other.
There were times when I was in a bathrobe, like when I popped into the cafe (robe-required past this point) for a bite of their Russian-leaning menu and a cold draft beer. I ventured up a set of stairs and then down a long hallway, up another set of stairs and then through a door that led to a roof deck where rooftop yoga classes take place. Except on this cold San Francisco afternoon, there was nobody there but me. I took a deep breath and looked out over the bay towards the Bay Bridge leading right into the city skyline, which felt like a world away, but I knew that it wasn’t at all. And I hoped that other locals could find the time to step away from the hustle and bustle of the city into this changing, dynamic neighborhood and get an opportunity to feel like they could breathe freely again too.
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