Watson and Slick

We tend to try health fads for all the wrong reasons — like joining a yoga class because you really like Lulu’s well-toned Lemons.

Skip the fads and go with science, using Equinox’s DNA Workout.

Almost like a supersoldier program for the everyman — and only available at the Century City Equinox, for members and non-members alike — the DNA Workout customizes a routine based on your own double-helixed destiny.

Just spit into a test tube, and three weeks later you’ll receive a Equifit Genetic Report, outlining:

Athletic Performance: Your predisposition to sucking wind, i.e., athletic-induced fatigue and muscle damage.

Osteoarthritis: Your predisposition to knee, hip, and wrist arthritis.

Heart Attacks: Whether your ticker’s tired, and how to compensate through specific exercises and diets.

Preventable sudden death: Whether you have arrhythmia and how to better safeguard yourself.

Balding: Yes, balding. Testosterone is converted to DHT, a follicle killer. Cardio arrests that process. But weightlifting hastens it. (Hi, Vin Diesel.)

Your dossier’s also kept by a trainer at Equinox, who’ll use it to guide your workouts. So less boxing for the osteoarthritic, and more running for those predisposed to balding.

Which should help you get Lulu Lemon, you downward dog.

Note: there’s only one way to set up your DNA test appointment. Just email Matt at Equinox to get started.