Stouffer’s Lasagna Bloody Mary Mix is Here, And I’m Never Drinking Again

In bizarre culinary news, Stouffer’s is getting into the cocktail game. The frozen food brand just announced their Lasagna-Inspired Bloody Mary Mix, which will bring the savory flavors of the baked Italian dish to your glass. Because drinking pasta is…something we need?

“For decades, Stouffer’s Lasagna has had a special place at holiday tables,” Megan McLaughlin, Stouffer’s brand marketing manager, said in a press release. “This season, we created a new way for our fans to enjoy the same classic Stouffer’s Lasagna taste without turning on the oven. Our Bloody Mary Mix is the perfect addition to any holiday breakfast, brunch or happy hour.”

Stouffer’s Lasagna Bloody Mary Mix won’t even be for sale. In fact, the brand is giving away the spicy cocktail mixer on November 14 at noon. So anyone who wants to try it can do so for free by going to the Stouffer’s online merch store at the aforementioned date and time. The bottle will come with a recipe card and voucher for a free Stouffer’s lasagna so you can garnish your Bloody with a hunk of the cheesy pasta dish.

I’m certainly skeptical about a lasagna-flavored Bloody Mary mix. However, (plot twist!) I do find it brilliant that Stouffer’s decided to garnish the classic cocktail with pasta. I wouldn’t choose lasagna because I can barely eat it with a fork and knife without making a mess, but a toothpick of tortellini or skewer of ravioli would be a delightful addition to the average celery/olive/cornichon garnish. As for the liquid, I’ll stick to regular Bloody Mary mix, thank you very much.