The 2017 Terradyne Gurkha LAPV Is the Vehicle of Your Dreams

Holy overkill, Batman. Have you been longing for a vehicle that speaks to your increased levels of paranoia in these uncertain times? For those who want to send a clear message that they are ready for them, whomever they may, but are surely coming for you for reasons, there’s a car on Bring a Trailer right now waiting for your bid.

The popular car auction site often has something for everyone, and a 2017 Terradyne Gurkha LAPV up for grabs seems to drive that home. The LAPV or “light armored patrol vehicle” is developed by Terradyne Armored Vehicles Inc., which is based in Ontario, Canada. The underpinnings come from a Ford F550 Super Duty fitted with a 6.7-liter turbodiesel V8. It gins up 330 horsepower, but more importantly, it’s able to produce 660 lb-ft of torque to haul its 16,000-lb armored shell around.

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Speaking of, the LAPV is shielded in B7/STANAG II-rated armor, which is resistant to assault and sniper rifle fire, to say nothing of stray shopping carts. It’s also adorned with convenient grab handles, LED perimeter lights, plus an intercom with siren and a driver’s door firing port for drive-thru orders. It all rides on 20-inch all-terrain run-flat tires.

On the inside, driver and passenger will be treated to heated bucket seats wrapped in black-diamond stitched vinyl, center console with cupholders, and an infotainment system that is Apple CarPlay compatible.

The party really starts in the rear compartment where passengers can cosy up on rear bench seats, bump to tunes blasting on the Focal audio speaker system, and hang out of the roof hatch, prom-limo-style thanks to an elevating central platform on the floor.

As of this writing, the Terradyne Gurkha sits at a bid of $360,000, which will likely be closed by the time you read this, but given its history, you probably won’t have to wait long for your chance to own the big leave-me-alone truck of your dreams. The truck’s racked up less than 6,000 miles and has traveled from Canada to six U.S. states under the stewardship of five owners. This one is currently ready to leave a dealer lot in Thousand Oaks, California, a rough-and-tumble suburb that spawned the likes of seedy characters such as Amanda Bynes, Bob Denver and Wayne Gretzky.

Surely there is some use case to justify purchasing the Terradyne Gurkha in terms of companies that transport high-value items or individuals who require a high level of protection. Seeing it on BaT, however, doesn’t put this vehicle in the proper context. Here, it’s likely going to the home of someone who thinks they need this degree of armored transport but likely doesn’t, or to someone with $360,000 to spend on a goofy armored party tank just for a laugh. We’re torn on which we’re more comfortable with.