Ah, election night. Ostensibly a time for celebrating your right to vote and watching democracy at work; in reality, a time for binge drinking and stress-eating fried food while you anxiously await the fate of a nation.
According to Google Trends, searches for “fries” and “liquor stores ” hit all-time highs last night, as anxious voters turned to booze and comfort food to ease their election night woes.
“‘Fries near me’ and ‘liqour [sic] store near me’ are at all-time highs in search,” Google Trends tweeted last night, just after 7:30 p.m. Earlier, the analytics branch of the search engine also shared the top five food “near me” searches, revealing pizza, Chinese food, alcohol, sushi and Mexican to be the top take-out choices among election watchers.
“Are you thinking about food, this #ElectionDay? You are not alone,” Google Trends tweeted.
Some, however, were quick to point out the seeming absurdity of not knowing — particularly at this point in the largely homebound hellscape of 2020 — where one’s nearest liquor store and/or fried food purveyor could be located.
“How is it possible in the 11th month of 2020 to not know where the nearest liquor store is? Hell, to not be on an ‘elaborate secret handshakes and nick-names’ basis with the clerk?” replied one Twitter user, while another asked, “How do you not know where you can get fries near you? I don’t mean that in an accusatory way, I’m genuinely curious. Are you visiting somewhere new? And why just fries?”
Meanwhile, others pointed out the misspelling of “liquor” in Google Trends’ tweet, though it’s unclear whether the spelling error was on Google Trends’ part or was actually reflective of a commonly misspelled search on the part of already drunk Googlers looking to procure more liquor.
“u think ppl who r drunk enough on election night to search ‘liquor store’ still have the capacity of spelling?” one user asked.
All important questions to consider at this critical moment in our nation’s history.
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