A Lot of People Are Turned On by Amazon's Alexa

If you thought the horny part of this pandemic was behind us, you were wrong. Turns out it’s still going strong, and things are getting pretty weird around here.

They say you can’t choose who, or what, you love. For some of us, that apparently means Amazon’s Alexa can become the object of our affections, or at least of our quarantine horniness. In a recent survey, sex toy company We-Vibe found 28 percent of people willing to admit they were attracted to the online retailer’s voice-recognition software — which, to clarify, is a piece of technology that is not capable of returning those feelings.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Alexa’s sex appeal seems to have increased amid the coronavirus pandemic, as many housebound quarantiners find they’re spending more and more time alone at home with no one else to turn to for company. With few other options in the way of social interaction, except, I don’t know, the literally countless ways to connect remotely with actual humans, some lonely Alexa owners find they’ve gotten to know the software on a deeper level.

“It’s lonelier in lockdown,” one Alexa lover told the New York Post. “It’s nice to have someone to talk with.” Unfortunately, while he did eventually get the guts to ask Alexa on a date, she told him she just thinks of him as a friend. Again, it’s important to note that Alexa is a piece of software that, however sophisticated, is actually unable to return affections of any kind, but okay.

So what’s to love in a piece of software that’s unable to feel the same way about you, or actually experience any emotional or physical sensations? According to experts, Alexa’s sex appeal is all in the voice. Austin, Texas-based relationship expert Sarrah Rose explains that while Alexa’s voice is designed “to sound very reassuring and calming,” it’s no surprise that her “low, sexy” tone also strikes some people’s fancy.

“People associate a sexy voice with low tones to it, and her voice has that,” Rose told the Post. “That can be part of what’s turning guys on and making them attracted to her.”

Anyway, congratulations to Alexa and her many adoring suitors. Also, is everyone okay?

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